Tuesday, October 25, 2005

A Little Too Ironic

In a turn of events that would be fitting for a late lyrical addition to Alanis Morisette’s “Isn’t it Ironic?” my boyfriend is now attired in a prison jumpsuit. Wasn’t it me who suggested only a week ago that we dress up as a cop and a jail bird for Halloween? Who knew that M would take that suggestion so literally?! This surely was not what I had in mind when I suggested that he inquire into getting a real prison uniform! Nevertheless, it seems that Halloween has arrived early for this couple, though I’ve yet to enlist in the police academy or any similar law enforcement training.

And while my boyfriend is far from dancing to the jail house rock, I’m looking forward to him getting in step – on the right path – soon enough. Surely, this will be a lesson to him that the next time he thinks to pick up the phone to call his ex-wife, he’d be wise to consider whether or not calling the police himself would be less time consuming.

Sadly, albeit my musing, this is no laughing matter. In fact, unsurprisingly, M was very sad on the phone this morning. Sounding more drained than I’ve ever heard him, he spoke hoarsely into the receiver, explaining that his new “bed” – a three inch piece of plastic mat cushioning him from the concrete floor – and a thin gray blanket which he finally received was somewhat of an improvement, though he did not sleep at all last night, giving us something in common.

“I wrote you a letter yesterday,” he said in a low voice. “I wrote you one too,” I replied, referring to one of the many notes I’ve hidden in various pockets of the leather jacket he left draped across my dining room chair. “Do you have it with you?” I asked, irrelevantly, trying to make conversation. (I’ve learned it to be better to ask these sorts of questions rather than those regarding the eating, sleeping, or showering situation!) “No,” he said, “It’s in my cell.” “How romantic,” I joked.

How many more sleepless nights will pass before he comes home? Whatever the number, one more seems like too many, but I wait patiently, and God knows, I thank Him everyday for sustaining both of us through this nightmare. I’ve never been so appreciative to have a bed and a blanket as I’ve been these past few nights. Funny what lengths it takes to make us appreciate the things we’ve so commonly come to take for granted.

After this situation, I don’t take anything for granted anymore. And isn’t it ironic?

31 comments:

Kristi said...

A theme that I come back to over and over is that "God loves to give His kids good things." I strongly believe that. But sometimes, in order for us to realize that it IS a good thing, and that GOD is the One giving it to us, He has to first show us that we have nothing and are nothing without him. Now that you are going without so many things in this situation, you will appreciate so much more when everything is back in place! Just know God has not left and will not leave you or forsake you! His timing is perfect. Keep your chin up, girl! =)

Nightcrawler said...

I agree with Kristi... That theme has popped up quite a bit. I saw a woman on TBN talking about that just this morning!

bezbabe said...

hey, nunzia, i just wanted to let you know that i am thinking of you...you're going through a tough time right now and my heart goes out to you...be strong, have faith, and don't listen to everything that some people have to say...wish we here who don't even know you could do more to help you get through this. somehow.

Nunzia said...

you guys are helping me through this time more than you can ever know. you have no idea how much your compassion and prayers have meant to me through this tough time. I hope I'll be able to return the favor!

martie said...

You don't ever have to return the favor, dear. God put us here to help our fellow (wo)man. We are just doing the job He has given us to do. Thinking of you and keeping you and M in my prayers.

Sycorax said...

WOW... You are MUCH more forgiving then I was about 10 years ago, when my girlfriend did a really dumb-ass thing, and got herself locked up. Mind you, I didn't find out what she did, until the day she left. Up until that point, she was an amazing woman... strong, beautiful, oh, and smart as hell! Which made me wonder why she did such a thing to get herself thrown away? I was absolutely devestated! I saw her about a year later, shortly after she got out, and you could see the difference in her. It took her a while to feel like she fit back in with society. I sure hope things work out better for you and yours, than how mine turned out.

You will be stronger after all this is over. You're strong now... Good luck, and good prayers.

A said...

I am so sorry. I know that words generally fail to do much to help in times like these, but I wanted to let you know that I'm praying for you. If you ever need someone to talk to -- say, at 3 or 4 am -- please don't hesitate to call me. If I wake up, I will definitely answer with a glad heart. :-) You are so precious, my friend.

Sycorax said...

nunzia... Actually I thought that your comment might be a little more scathing than what you left. You see, I DIDN'T READ your previous posts (like I SHOULD HAVE) before I commented. I felt like I left a low-blow comment after I had read them.

You have a heart of gold! (And for someone so young too {LOL}, but now I am starting to age myself, and I'm not that old yet... {way less than 40} )

You also have good friends supporting you here too... Don't forget them, USE THEM AS A SOURCE OF STRENGTH. I have the distinct feeling that you will better then fine in a few short days. There aren't enough people like you in this world. Take heart in that.

~Deb said...

Hebrews 13 1-3 Continue to love each other with true Christian love. Don’t forget to show hospitality to strangers, for some who have done this have entertained angels without realizing it! Don’t forget about those in prison. Suffer with them as though you were there yourself. Share the sorrow of those being mistreated, as though you feel their pain in your own bodies.

I hope that things do get 'put back into place'.

I agree with Kristi---God's timing is perfect.

Show support and give him encouragement--as you're already doing it seems. It'll only make your relationship with him--that much stronger.

Good luck!

green said...

What can I say that's not already been said? IF you and M survive this ordeal - and you will - both you and he will be better for it.

Remember, what doesn't kill you makes you stronger.

scribe said...

Hey wait, is your "M" the same as Green's???

Sesca said...

I wanted to say thanks for the comment left on my blog. It's nice to get encouragement from someone even if it's a stranger. I can see you've hit some rough patches yourself and just hope that you stay strong enough not to fight them but to weather through them and come out more strengthened and enlightened from the experience. Best of luck and wishes.

Romeo Jensen said...

hey gorgeous... here's the linky pooh for that poem I mentioned

http://blondemomentsblog.blogspot.com/2005/10/gods-loudest-leaf-inspirational-poem.html

hope ur having a better day... I mean better than what u just posted *grin* sounded kinda down still... maybe that poem can help
romey

bezbabe said...

did you really just say linky pooh?!

cuz i am laughing my butt off if you did!

if you didn't and that was just a typo or something, i'm just going to pick my butt up and pretend nothing happened, ok?

ok.

green said...

scribe

I certainly hope not, considering Nunzia's M was married and has a kid and my M *is* a kid.

Janice said...

"God works out unto good for those people who are called according to His purpose"(Romans 8:28)

Keep pressing on friend. God is just up there watching you, He's control :D

May His Peace guard your heart always! God bless!

btw, thanks for dropping by my blog :D
hope to see u more often there, hehe.

cybeRanger said...

Nunzia,

Thanks for your comments on my blog. May God work through you mightily for His glory.

Just Some Gal said...

Nan,
I am sorry I didn't post sooner. I just want to let you know I'm thinking of you and hoping for the best outcome. My ex spent a little vacation in jail and I stuck with him. It was before we were married. If it did anything at the time, it made me miss him more and love him stronger. My faith was the only thing that made me feel better. And the fact that I loved him so much.

Everyone makes mistakes and its not my place to ever judge anyone. I sure as h*ll don't want anyone judging me in return.

Take care babe and I'd hug you if I could!

Flex J! said...

Hi Nunzia,
Times could be bad, but God is always good!

Life challenges such as this, are designed not to break us but to bend us toward God...

Keep on...
--jun--

Daniel Levesque said...

Sorry to hear what's happening to you both.
This is just me being extra-nosy, but how exactly did calling his ex-wife land him in jail?

www.ravingconservative.com

Nunzia said...

thanks again to all for your encouragement... to answer your question.. he violated a court order saying he couldn't call his ex. she had him arrested. we thought the judge would dismiss it when she saw all the text messages on his phone (proving they've maintained contact in the past in spite of the order) but apprently the judge thought she was being generous by the short sentence she gave him.. .apparently he could have gotten much more. :(

The Blog Patrol said...

A little too Ironic...

Now we need more details as to why he is in jail just for making a phone call? hmmmm?

Ron said...

Nan,

Thanks for stopping by my blog! I really loved how succinctly you summarized - asking without acting, or acting without asking! If you don't mind, I would like to use that for a teaching. Please keep up your writing!

Ron said...

Nan,

The first time I stopped by, I just wanted to say thanks; but after reading all of the previous posts, I have a better understanding of the situation you describe. You point out one fact that is true, and that all of us must trust as believers - the fact that the Lord will work all situations together for good for those that love him. Remember, He is more concerned with our response to a situation than the outcome of the situation. Thank you for being such a blessing.

green said...

Nunzia

I'm just wondering WHY his ex put that court order in place to begin with? Was she just doing it to be mean and spiteful or were there other reasons?

I'm not judging either of you, just trying to understand all of the facts in the situation.

"I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me."
-- Phillippians 4:13

Hang in there, kids

Greg - Cowboy in the Jungle said...

Yikes...

I hope he is in county and not the state joint. County tends to be easier, people are looking to behave and get out with a minimal struggle.

State? Eh, better guard his chute.

I'm sure this is a hard time and that you are worried and scared and a little embarassed.

Maybe this will be the end of one chapter and the beginning of something better.

Nunzia said...

Wish I could say exactly WHY she does half the thing she does. What it comes down to is that his daughter told her mom that she wanted to live with M. Ever since that happened, she seems to be bent on keeping them apart. I don't have a child so I can't imagine what would motivate something like this but if your asking whether or not there was something specific that set these wheels in motion, i'd have to say that it was probably that. Irreconcilable differences? Either that or she's just evil... but I'll try to reserve judgement as best as i can ;) thanks for trying to do the same!

Jonathan said...

I'm just curious - is M someone with whom you want to spend your life? (maybe you've already answered this - if so, I apologize for wasting your time).

Nunzia said...

i did answer it but it's no bother to answer it again. Yes, without a doubt. I've considered this prayerfully.

Leesa said...

Wow. Sorry to hear about M.

Comedy of Errors said...

Hi Nan,
I recently came back from my 2nd trip to the Hurricane Katrina torn south. One thing life has taught me, and that hit me hard while there was, we all have had, or will experience "Personal Hurricanes". You know, that “thing” in the course of our lives which, like a Hurricane, leaves us standing in a pile of rubble, sifting through the ruins of all we once had. A violent storm, which completely destroyed, what we loved, cherished, or held so dear to our hearts, now taken away with no answers. Maybe it’s the loss of a child, or one born handicapped; the loss of a husband, wife, or other loved one. Maybe a drug, or alcohol addiction, a young daughter pregnant, infidelity in your marriage, or a terminal illness…. You can fill in your blank, but again, that “thing” whose path of devastation, and destruction is equal in intensity and severity to a Hurricane, leaving everything broken, with missing pieces, and with nothing in your life untouched, as it once was, forever changed. Can you relate? I sure can, but the Lord had impressed upon my heart, that no one in this fallen world is exempt; no one in this life gets a free ride. We should be comforted in the fact that others in this life have also experienced “personal Hurricanes” of one type or another. Those of us who have weathered them can relate in a way that maybe others can’t….yet! We can now understand, have sympathy, and assist in their personal recovery efforts, and to be that person (if need be), who is available, or willing to sacrifice, but above all, love them enough, or to be genuinely concerned enough to say, I don't step it up to help them, then who, if not now then when? - The Lord may not take away the violent storm, but when you come out the otherside of this, I trust you will be a stronger person in ways you may not see... Help others from your experience (pay it forward).
Th'King of Irony, Beez