Saturday, December 02, 2006

Waiting For God. An Update on Abigail

I remember when I arrived at the hospital the Sunday before last, I opened my Bible trying to make sense of what was going on, hoping to land on a verse that would bring me comfort and understanding. For the next week that I was in New York with my family, I tried my hardest to push that verse aside. The verse was Isaiah 57:1-2: “The righteous pass away; the godly often die before their time. And no one seems to care or wonder why. No one seems to understand that God is protecting them from the evil to come. For the godly who die will rest in peace.”

Clearly, I could not imagine that God would take this precious little one who never had a chance to walk upright, let alone sin, before we had a chance to know her, before she had a chance to grow up and learn about this world or His word… I could not fathom it, though it rested heavy on my heart in the days that followed, and still does.

God has not taken Abigail. She is still with us, though how much alive she is, and what is left of her is still a matter of so much speculation.

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Yesterday, my dad called with new that Abby was showing signs of some improvement, though she was still so deep in her coma. Today, there is new news, news of such a different character. The bleeding in Abby’s brain has worsened. One of her doctors has told my sister that Abby is paralyzed. Another said it’s not conclusive but there is little evidence that it’s not true.

There, Abby waits in her coma. What comfort does she have? We do not know if she can hear her mother’s voice or if she heard our prayers over her, our pleas for her to get better. All this time it was a comfort to me to know that even if she could not hear, God could. I struggle with why He does not answer. I know He is sovereign. I try to hold my head up high and wait patiently for God. But this is so defeating and we are crushed by the weight of this.

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Why does God choose not to heal? I'm sure that any member of my family would bear any suffering if it could bring this little one back and restore her. Isn’t that how much God loves us? That He died to save us? How I wish that He’d have mercy on this shattered family, on this broken child. How I wish He'd heal her. I trust in God’s power… I just wish His will was the same as mine. There is no way for me to tell. My hope is all that sustains me and it seems to fade so fast. I know God is faithful and I put my trust in Him, even if His will should be to "spare" Abigail in a way different from what we hope and pray for.

Still, we hope and pray.

30 comments:

jel said...

Hi Nan,
Abigail, is a doll! she will be in my prayer as here family and you!


blessings

Seeker said...

"I know God is faithful and I put my trust in Him"

Your faith and trust in God will result in Him being glorified, no matter what.

Stand strong in Christ and His sovereign mercy.

Pia said...

nan, yesterday at our saturday service, the message was not to give up. maybe a lot of us are feeling hopeless but our pastor said 'do not give up'. nothing is impossible with our God because He is a mighty God. He can do even the impossible. nan, i just said a prayer for baby abby even before i read your post. i was having my quiet time a while back and the message i got was a story about the man with leprosy. the man said, "Lord, if you are willing, you can make me clean." Jesus said, "I am willing. Be clean!"
Our God is willing to heal us and help us in whatever situation we're at. we may not see any results now but our god is already in motion and He hasn't fallen off His throne. He is still in control. i know that God can restore her health. He can and He is able. let's just keep on praying. as long as baby abby is still alive, there is still hope. she's always in my prayer.

Anonymous said...
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martie said...

Nan, I am still praying for Abby's total and complete recovery. My brain wants to understand why these things happen, but my heart is over riding my brain and yelling no, no, no this can't be happening to a sweet innocent child. Yet, God tells us He will not forsake us or leave us. I cling to that and hope it gives you and your family some comfort as well. I am praying for everyone involved and for your sister Michelle. How difficult to watch your child in such a position. God's blessings on all of you!

Anonymous said...

Blessed are those who mourn, for they shall be comforted.

Blessings to you and your family. My wife and I pray for you all.

Ryan S. said...

Still praying.

Behind a Frowning Providence by John J. Murray is a Christian classic to reflect upon during trying times, as well as finding solace in the reading of Psalms.

Every blessing to Him to you, your husband, and your family, and may the good Lord especially comfort, restore and safeguard little Abigail.

MRJ said...

This brought tears to my eyes.... am so sad, just to look at how precious she is and realize that she is in that situation, it crushes my heart.... I'm praying for her.

An Ordinary Christian said...

I'm so sorry....Like you said, "I know He is sovereign." I pray for the little lamb...

cybeRanger said...

Let not your heart be troubled, be still and know He is God.. All things work together for good! Cheer up!

Kira Marx said...

We know, all too well, what it's like to have a critically ill baby. Our hearts go out to your family. We're saying Tehillim (Psalms) for Baby Abigail, with the hopes that she'll pull through. If there's anything we can do to help at all, please don't hesitate to ask.

Nunzia said...

Thank you all so much for your prayers. It has been such a blessing to have so much encouragement and so many prayers going up for Abby. We found out today that the doctors have talked to Michelle about the possibility of taking Abigail off the vent. Tomorrow they are doing an EEG to see if she has any brain activity so please pray hard. We are still holding out hope for a miracle. We know that God is able. I just pray he is willing to heal this little one. We all love her so much...

Anonymous said...

We are all praying for that darling child and her family.Please stay faithful to God.He can mend a broken heart as well as a complete healing.
Blessings to you and dear Abigail.

crossblade said...

Hi Nan,
I am sorry I wanst able to keep in touch :(

I will be praying for lil Abby
God be with the family

crossblade said...

Do let me know how she is..

Anonymous said...

Tears of mercy and grace from our home to yours.

Lawrence Underwood said...

What precious child. We will be praying for her.

Craver VII said...

I prayed for you today.

Pia said...

God is willing. let us continue praying. God hears us.

KayMac said...

praying....

Anonymous said...

Any news about Abigal? So many people are praying for her.

Pia said...

nan, how's baby abby doing?

Corry said...

Our prayers are with y'all!

God's Grace.

Cinder said...

we're praying alongside you and yours...

Nunzia said...

Sadly the news is not good. Abby's condition continues to get worse. I was just told that she nearly died the night before last and a nurse brought her heart rate back up in spite of the DNR. The swelling in her brain and the after-affects are so bad that she has now lost the top of her head. All the skin, tissue, flesh, etc. has completely come off. My family is still praying but mostly losing hope that God will move to heal her. The doctors say she will likely not survive the week...

Anonymous said...

Dear Nan,
Please take solace that Abigail is under GOD's care and protection.
I am so sorry the news is not better, but HE is faithful and constant.
We continue to pray for Abigail and your entire family.

Pia said...

nan, i'm still praying. although this news broke my heart, i'm still going to pray and ask God to please heal baby abby and help her recover. oh, nan, i wish i'm there to give you a big hug. (((HUGS)))

Anonymous said...

Nan,
We are so sorry and sad to red the latest post, but we continue to pray and be ever faithful.
GOD bless little Abby and your entire family.

martie said...

I am so sorry to learn of the recent update on little Abigail! I am continuing to pray that the Lord's will be done....even if it isn't what we want. If it is His will to take her to heaven, then I pray for comfort for you, her parents and all the family involved. I pray that Abby will not suffer! Hugs and Gods blessings on you and yours!

martie said...

Nan, a good friend of mine asked me to post this for him...he wrote it and sent it to me. Here it is in My heart is broken as I mourn with you in this very difficult time. I know that things are cloudy and it is very difficult to see through the darkness of these times. May the Lord encourage you during these hard times.
Please trust in the Lord. When we do not know what is going to happen let us be a people who will not throw out everything that we know to be true about the Lord. Let us lean on his goodness, compassion, mercy, love, even though it is hard to see that at the moment.

Father,
I recall in your word where Jesus wept because Lazarus had dies. Jesus actually wept. I can see in my minds eye the Lord full of compassion weeping as his kids endure these hard times. Please Lord, be a comfort to everyone involved during these most difficult of days. Help everyone to draw their strength from you. And please if you are willing, heal Abigail. We need you to do a work. I pray most of all that in these hard times that people would see you at work and that at the end of the day you would be glorified because you are worthy, no matter what happens. In Jesus name I pray....Amen.

If you need anything, please ask....you know that I have been there and I know what it is like. You have a friend here who has been through this and if you need to talk, I am here.
Bill Scott
http://billscott1974.blogspot.com/
it's entirety: