Monday, September 12, 2005

Looking Forward; Moving On

If there was a way to go back into the past, there are so many things I’d change. I wouldn’t even know where to begin. Would I go all the way back to the beginning? Maybe even back to before it started – if I could…

Sadly, there is no changing the past. Yet, all too often, we torment ourselves with thoughts of what should have/could have/might have been had we not gotten in our own way. Sadly, it’s too late; we already have. Sadly, the consequences will continue to play themselves out before us and there is no reversing them, though improvement is always a possibility if we are willing to work hard.

The past is little more than an abundant source of lessons, but we are slow to learn and when we realize our mistakes our inclination is to want to go back in time to correct ourselves – but we know we cannot. All we can do is try to set ourselves on better footing for the future and hope we will not trip ourselves up again. We probably will. The scars we’ll carry will be reminders. Maybe that’s a good thing. Maybe it’s better not to forget. If we forget, then we fall back into patterns that lead to the same end point. There's little use in repeating ourselves, but it's useful in some small way if we can see it that way.

I sometimes wish it didn’t take learning the hard way for me to actually learn, but it’s the hardest lessons that we remember most and what we derive from those darkest places that makes us that much more grateful when we again find ourselves in the light. I'm reaching for it this time. I'm looking forward. I'm moving on.

6 comments:

Anonymous said...

You will never truely get over the ones you love, you will however on get on with life in an attempt to find another.

W said...

It sounds like you're getting better and stronger with each day. I'm sure it's just a matter of time until you can put the chains and everything else behind you. Remember that I'm here for you; and I'll always be here.

A said...

You are by far the best writer that I know personally and you seem to learn from mistakes. Intelligence is very
attractive ;)...and already writing at the level of a professional. I love
reading your blogs <3

Leann said...

Thank you for stopping by my blog. You sound like an intelligent, insightful person. It will take you far.

I too seem to learn from the most difficult mistakes. Nothing comes easy for this gal. :-)

Anika said...

Nan, you are on my heart every day.

Jiby said...

i can relate to your experiences... beautiful post...i still cant get myself to write about failed love...i moved as far away from home as i cud...but my lessons have been well learnt...and like you i ask...why did it have to be the hard way...the answer god gave me wuz...he didnt want it any other way as he must have known i cudnt take another mistep. its 3 years now and i have moved on and it all feels like a fading bad dream and an enrichening experience now...good luck and thanks for visiting my blog.