Tuesday, September 27, 2005

Fight this Fight

Anxiety comes creeping in again, and I can hardly keep at bay the tides that sweep me up in such confusion, and I can hardly swallow down the pain that rises in my throat till I am barely breathing. And there is no escape from this.

Spent so many hours counting down the clock. It's time to go, but I can't move. I'm paralyzed by this dissension, this overwhelming sense of desperation. So much without a reason. And there is no relief for me.

And I can't find the words to put it into. Can't bear to speak at all. Can hardly write. Can't help but to withdraw. Won't reach out now. I only want to be alone. For now. Just let me ride this out on my own.

Just let me fight this fight the only way I've ever done before. It's the only way I know. It's the only way, the only choice I'll ever choose. I am on my own again now, so let me fight this fight.

It's not your battle to lose.

6 comments:

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Batman said...

You're a tough cookie. I'm sure you'll manage without breaking a single sweat. Talk to you soon!

A said...

I hope that you're okay. I just wanted to say that I'm praying for you. I love you, and I know that it's a struggle. I pray that God will be faithul to you, that He will get you through this. He knows the depths of your heart just as sure as he knows the unfathomable depths of the sea -- He knows. And I trust in Him now to keep you firmly in His grip. I love you, friend. I'm praying for you.

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Anonymous said...
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Damian said...

The fight you fight is with yourself i see, its hard to let go and let be so i all i can say is that there is always hope for tomorrow even if you don't see it today.

P.S. Yes, the antichrist is the institution called the Catholic CHurch - i will expound in my blog tomorrow. Take care, God loves you so much you can't even begin to imagine.